It's 11:31AM right now on a Friday morning/afternoon. Classes at UVA have all been cancelled and it is snowing quite heavily outside and it is supposed to snow much much more over the course of the day and the next. YIPEE!!!!!!! HURRAY!!!!!!! Although I am excited about all of this, I also find myself to be extremely tired and feeling sicker and sicker as each hour goes by. I just spent the night playing Brawl, cards, and going on a "journey" to McyD's and Lowes with some bros. I slept at approximately 8:00AM...which means that I only got about 3 hours of sleep.

As you can probably see, this is a really long entry. But it is comprised of many different parts and separated quite nicely into sections; each new section/part is indicated by a hyphen. If you even bother to read or want to read but do not want or can not read through this entirely in one sitting, I advise you to just read a section and come back when you are bored. Just a thought. Also, please be nice and forgiving and understanding. I was kind of vulnerable in this entry. My thoughts are still incomplete and are not finalized. I wrote in the style of stream of consciousness...kind of. haha. What I thought of, I vomited onto this page. May not make much sense or can be misinterpreted, but please don't. I beg of you. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Thank you =D!

-My body doesn't like me too much; It never lets me sleep past a certain time so I usually find myself to be tired in the mornings from inadequate sleep...unless I sleep at like 10PM... It must be punishment for all the abuse I give it while playing basketball and such. Such being: not holding a girls hand when it so desperately desires to, or not eating a healthy and balanced diet, or wearing clothing that Chris Jun considers to be comparable to a homeless person's...although he did say that I could pull off the homeless man look well, yay! Thanks Chris.

I guess it's true, love your body and it loves you back. I guess I haven't been loving my body too much, so it hasn't been loving me back...sorry body, I will make a more concerted effort to love you the way you deserve to be loved, the way you want to be loved. I, your mind/driving force/master, have been very irresponsible, and I am very, very sorry. As the Bible says, change from the inside out. I shall try...no, scratch that, I must! For the body is a living temple, the shelter to my soul, both must be in harmonious balance in order to be used by God most effectively. Ha ha, "shelter to my soul"...ha ha, that was pretty good brain; I, your body, will type that. Hehe *brain blushes, body smiles shyly while looking down at the ground*. (Aside) My brain and body are cute...not in appearance, but in their actions. I like them...usually, but sometimes they really misbehave. That is when God must punish them.

Ok, that was really weird. My brain and body just had a conversation to themselves in an Xanga entry. I must be realllllllly tired...or am I? Ha ha ha. Doh! Just a reminder that I wrote this on 3 hours sleep so my mind is more disoriented and unusual and weird than usual. I am not like this all the time...I think...*sad face*

-These are my confessions: As most girls know, once you pluck hairs, either from your face...or armpits, but usually face, they don't stay plucked, they grow back...thicker and with anger (you got to say that in the deepest tone you possibly can, emphasize the "an" of anger, and trail the "ger"). I did not know this. If I had known this, I probably wouldn't have plucked all those hairs from my eyebrows that one lonely and boring night my first year. I literally think I plucked about 10% of my entire eyebrows...I'm dangerous with tweezers. I also would not have shaved my entire face those couple of times in middle school. I was a noob, my dad never taught me how to shave...I tried to improvise on my own...I failed. So basically other than my eyebrows and eyelashes, every hair on my face I shaved. Apparently you are not supposed to do that cause the hairs just under your eyes and on your cheeks are not to be touched...cause they grow back...thicker and with anger . Oh well. Anyway...sike, not true...only one way; Jesus. So in conclusion...I pluck my eyebrows, on average, every other day. Not because I'm still reconstructing them, but because they are very angry and going through puberty, apparently. True confession, I always take my tweezers whenever I go somewhere for more than a couple of days. I don't know why I wrote that; that is really embarrassing...but I guess I believe in presenting some of my worst so that people know that I'm really weird and won't be shocked or repulsed by me if they were to find out some other way. I guess better for me to tell than for others to find out in another way. Eh, maybe.

-Some of the best dreams that I've had were of me holding a girls hand. I kid you not, it was magically. Literally sparks flying from our hands, fireworks exploding in my heart. I know this sounds really innocent, which might make me look really innocent...but sadly I am not, so please do not think that I am some kind of saint...cause sadly I am not. I wish though. But this is a true confession. I can or can not wait to exchange sweat and hand oils with a girl through our mutual holding of hands.

-The Word is for real. I think that one of the biggest differences in my spiritual walk between now and my first year is that amount of the Word that I read on a daily basis. I literally carried my Bible every where I went my first year. Any chance that I got, I would sit down and pull out my Bible and read. I was in loooooooooove with the Bible. My Bible was like my girlfriend, so wise and beautiful and loving and encouraging, perfect. But seems like we've gotten more distant over the past few years. I can see a very noticeable difference in my life, sadly. But I've been trying to get closer the past few days, and I can see a positive change. Just whenever possible, whether in a crowded lounge in Ruffner, or in my room, or on the bus, to open up and read the Word and be encouraged and refreshed until the next time, but probably most importantly, to be reminded of God and His presence and His goodness/love. I find no reason to be ashamed to open up the Bible and read in public settings...unless it is to be praised by others. Honestly, most people probably think that it's some kind of book for a class, but the few who do know and are bold enough to approach you, they are awesome encouragers. Never has anyone mocked or ridiculed me for doing so...and even if they do, praise God through my sufferings and persecutions for His name for I will receive many treasures in Heaven, holla!

-I am a guy who wears his emotions on his sleeves...is that right? Did I use that correctly? Oh well. If I'm mad or sad or happy or excited or apathetic or tired, you can probably tell. I'm pretty bad at hiding what I'm feeling and try not to even. Not a big fan, personally, of any kind of disguises or facades or deceptions. Be who you are, if who you are is not who you want to be, and hopefully who you want to be is who God wants you to be, then there must be some kind of change, I think. I'm not condoning my actions of being angry or bitter and such, at all. These are my sins, my imperfections that with God, I must change. But this is my confession.

Although one exception might be the feelings I have for the girl(s) I have interest in...I am a hypocrite, I know, but I am still needing of much change, for that is a deception isn't it?...but for good reason? Am I not correct in thinking that?...I don't know. I'm a confused boy when it comes to girls. How do you let a girl know that you like her, without letting her know that you like her?!? It's really hard, you can't even imagine, you could even say that it's impossible...maybe it is. But what is impossible with man, is possible with God, holla! Am I ready to date or am I not? AHHHHH!!! I don't know...which probably means that I'm not ready. Then when will I be ready? When I am ready and have a girlfriend, how will I be as a boyfriend? Will my stinginess go away? Will I dress better? How long should I date until I pop the big question? When should I get married, by what age? I think one of the biggest issues in regards to this problem is that I do not see myself ready just yet, spiritually, to start dating. If I'm having this much difficulty keeping my eyes on God now, how much harder must it be if I were to have a girlfriend. I would be hurting not only myself but her as well. I'm afraid of what I'm capable of...or not capable of. Future career? No idea. Would be kind of messed to start dating in college with no future plan career wise. No? I don't know if I can be the bread winner in my marriage. Makes me feel not like a man. Basically my 3rd year plan and marry by 23 plan has been halted indefinitely. Who knows, maybe God doesn't even want me to marry at all. We'll see. God is in control. No better driver/pilot than God. I believe.

This was such a worthless entry. If you read this all...HAHA, jokes on you...but in reality, the joke is on me *sad face*. I just spent the past two hours writing this...I smell in life. Random observation: good smells smell good. I want good smells, not bad smells, to permeate from my smellful body. If you smell something good in the next couple of months, it may or may not be me, but if it smells bad...definitely, definitely not me. If a bad smell occurs, you will find me pointing to the guy/girl next to me with a disgusted expression splashed upon my face. Something that I really try to disguise or facade or deceptionize...are my farts. With that being said, I bid thee farewell. But before I do that, if you really feel robbed of your time after reading this, please tell me. I will do something nice for you, something very nice!

Happy new year (2009)! Here are some weird things about me that I may try to change in this new year...possibly for my new year resolutions? Well here they are.

I have a hard time looking people face to face, but not just that, I have a really hard time looking people in the eyes while talking to them. If I do talk to you face to face, mostly likely, I'm looking at your lips or lips area. I have a fear of getting lost in peoples' eyes. Eyes are very powerful, just take Cyclops for example...he can kill people with his eyes. I know, I know, he's an X-man, so that's not entirely fair, but I have no doubt that normal humans' eyes can inflict just as much damage as his. They can strike fear into the hearts of people and manipulate them into doing things they would not normally do (like puppy-dog eyes-referencing to Puss In Boots in Shrek 2-or angry, stern eyes that can manipulate peoples' actions, like a Jedi warrior)...they can also make you fall in love, or lust, depending on the situation I guess. Bottomline, eyes are powerful and I would rather not get lost in them if I can. Only for my wife.

When I read the Bible, I can never stop on a chapter containing the number 6. I have to stop on the chapter before it (a chapter containing the number 5). I can't read a single line of the chapter containing the number 6...not even the description title thing. Or, I have to read the chapter containing the number 6 plus the next chapter (a chapter containing the number 7)...even if it is only the first line of it. I know this is very weird and bizzare but it's something that I have to do for some reason; OCD I guess. It just rests well with my soul when I do this...or don't do this, whichever way you like to think of it.

As many of you ladies know, I do not give girls hugs...voluntarily. I don't mind hugging guys as much but I wouldn't say that I'm completely fine with it. Because many girls I know already know this, they don't offer me hugs, or at least catch themselves before they actually try to. But of course, there are girls who don't know me as well or don't know about my awkwardness towards hugs and offer me anyway. I mean I'm not a jacked up person so I can't just deny them. I give them hugs. haha. To be honest, most of those hugs aren't awkward as long as that girl puts up her arms and all I have to do is slip into them. But then again, there are times when I don't know if they really want to hug me or if they are hesitant toward giving me a hug (when I have to do more than just slip into their arms); when this happens, I hug them, yes, but it is the most awkward thing ever (this coming from a guy who I would say rarely feels awkward, despite looking awkward all the time). I haven't seen myself too often when I do this, but all I know is that I make a really weird facial expression and I say "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" repeatedly, but quietly (I don't think many people hear me say this). Why I say this is because I feel awkward and I can't help but to think that they feel really awkward too, and I know it's because of me...so I apologize for their feeling awkward.

I have a weird obsession with germs, feet, and my mouth. Overall, I would not consider myself a "clean freak" or even a health conscious person. But when it comes to germs and my mouth, I "freak out." haha. I mean it's not that bad but I would prefer not to have germs enter my mouth knowingly. It just seems really disgusting whenever I think about it. Like I can't eat food when I know that I haven't washed my hands for a while. But oddly enough, just merely splashing some water on my hands makes me feel at ease; so if I am not able to access a bathroom or too lazy to, I just merely take an ice cube and allow it to melt in my hands and "wash" my hands like that. I know it doesn't do anything but spread the germs around, but it makes me feel at peace with eating with my hands after that. So therefore, I have concluded that my obsession with germs and my mouth is all psychological and not because I don't want to get sick or something. Oh, and the thing about the feet is that I believe that feet are the dirtiest part of the body...I guess other than the private areas -_-; I mean we walk on them all day and they come into contact with all of these nasty, little things that we can't necessarily see. So I don't like the idea of feet being near my mouth. It's okay if they touch my head, just don't put your toes in my mouth...or let your feet touch the upper half of my bed (especially my pillows and the area specifically where my head would go). When this happens, I can "see" the germs and nasty stuff and I "know" that they will enter my mouth...and then I "freak out." haha.

The television was my most effective teacher while growing up (of course Jesus is now, but not then...me BC). It taught me soooo much of what I know today. And the weird thing is that I didn't learn these things from Barney or the dragons on Dragon's Tales or from Big Bird or even from Caillou...I learned most of it from the Simpsons and other shows like that. It may have even been my best friend...if TVs can be your friends; if they can, then yes, my TV was my best friend. I spent countless hours watching it throughout my adolescense. Literally, I would come home from school, turn on the TV and then get some food or start on my homework. Some people need peace and quiet while doing homework, during elementary school up to high school, I literally needed the TV to be on in order to do my homework. It got so bad at one point that I watched TV while studying for major exams. It literally never turned off until I went to sleep at night, which was usually around 12ish. So the TV would be on from 3-12 everyday. It was even worse on weekends (I had no friends basically). Some people might say that I wasted a large portion of my adolescent life by watching the "tube," but I would not say that I regret it. I mean it comes in real handy when playing games like Cranium or taboo :).

So to sum it all up, look people in the eyes and try not to get lost in them, reconcile with the number 6, hug girls and don't apologize for it, be okay with people sticking their toes in your mouth, and finally, watch less TV and read more of the Bible. Awesome! What great new year resolutions.